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The Royal College of Nursing has
weighed in on
the Government's health care
proposals for the
Career prospects of
Junior doctors in the National
Health Service.
The Allergists voted to scratch
it, but the Dermatologists
advised not to make any rash
moves.
The Gastroenterologists had a
sort of a gut feeling about it,
but the
Neurologists thought the
Administration had a lot of
nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were
all labouring under a
misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the
idea short-sighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my
dead body!" while the
Pediatricians said, "Oh, Grow
up."
The Psychiatrists thought the
whole idea was madness, while
the
Radiologists could see right
through it.
The Surgeons were fed up with
the cuts and decided to wash
their hands of the whole thing.
The Ear Nose and Throat
specialists didn't swallow it,
and just wouldn't hear of it.
The Pharmacists thought it was a
bitter pill to swallow, and the
Plastic Surgeons said, "This
puts a whole new face on the
matter...."
The Podiatrists thought it was a
step forward, but the
Urologists were pissed off at
the whole idea.
The Anaesthetists thought the
whole idea was a gas, but the
Cardiologists didn't have the
heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists
won out, leaving the entire
decision up to the arseholes in
Whitehall.
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THE 18TH CAMEL
There was a father who left 17
camels as an asset for his three
sons.
When the father passed away, his
sons opened up the Will.
The Will of the father stated
that the eldest son should get
1/2 (half) of total camels while
the middle son should be given
1/3rd (one-third) and the
youngest son should be given
1/9th (one-ninth) of the total
camels.
As it was not possible to divide
17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by
9, the three sons started to
fight with each other. So, the
three sons decided to go to a
wise man.
The wise man read the Will
patiently. The wise man, after
giving due thought, brought one
camel of his own and added the
same to 17. That increased the
total to 18 camels.
Now, he started reading the
deceased father’s Will.
Half of 18 = 9. So he gave the
eldest son 9 camels
1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the
middle son 6 camels
1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the
youngest son 2 camels.
Now add this up: 9 plus 6 plus 2
is 17 and this leaves one camel,
which belonged to the wise man
and he took it back.
Moral: The attitude of
negotiation and problem solving
is to find the 18th camel i.e.
the common ground. Once a person
is able to find the 18th camel
the issue is resolved. It is
difficult at times. However, to
reach a solution, the first step
is to believe that there is a
solution. If we think that there
is no solution, we won’t be able
to reach any!
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The Greek Bailout Package
It is a slow day in a little
Greek Village. The rain is
beating down and the streets are
deserted. Times are tough,
everybody is in debt and
everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich
German tourist is driving
through the village, stops at
the local hotel and lays a €100
note as a deposit on the
reception desk, telling the
hotel owner he wants to inspect
the rooms upstairs in order to
pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some keys
and, as soon as the visitor has
walked upstairs, the hotelier
grabs the €100 note and runs
next door to pay his debt to the
butcher.
The butcher takes the €100 note
and runs down the street to
repay his debt to the pig
farmer.
The pig farmer takes the €100
note and heads off to pay his
bill at the supplier of feed and
fuel.
The guy at the Farmers' Co-op
takes the €100 note and runs to
pay his drinks bill at the
tavern. The publican slips the
money along to the local
prostitute drinking at the bar,
who has also been facing hard
times and has had to offer him
"services" on credit.
The hooker then rushes to the
hotel and pays off her room bill
to the hotel owner with the €100
note.
The hotel proprietor then places
the €100 note back on the
counter so the rich German
Tourist will not suspect
anything.
At that moment the traveller
comes down the stairs, picks up
the €100 note, says that the
rooms are not satisfactory,
pockets the money, and leaves
town.
No one produced anything. No one
earned anything. However, the
whole village is now out of debt
and looking to the future with a
lot more optimism.
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen,
is how the bailout package
works.................................................Simple.
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Pass The Butter ..
Please.
This
is interesting .
.. ...
Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it
killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the
research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to
figure out what to do with this product to get their money back.
It was a white substance with no food appeal so they
added the yellow colouring and sold it to people to use in place of
butter. How do you like it?They have come out with some clever
new flavourings.
DO YOU KNOW.. The difference between margarine and butter?
Read on to the
end...gets very interesting!
Both have the same amount of calories.
Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams; compared
to 5 grams for margarine.
Eating margarine can
increase heart disease in
women by 53%
over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent
Harvard Medical Study.
Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in
other foods.
Butter
has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few and
only because they are added!
Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the
flavours of other foods.
Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been
around for less than 100 years .
And now, for Margarine..
Very High in Trans fatty acids.
Triples risk of coronary heart disease .
Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this
is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good
cholesterol)
Increases the risk of cancers up to five times..
Lowers quality of breast milk.
Decreases immune response.
Decreases insulin response.
And here's the most disturbing
fact.... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!
Margarine is but
ONE MOLECULE
away from being
PLASTIC...
and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT
These facts alone were enough to have me avoiding margarine for
life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen
is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).
You can try this yourself:
Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it open in your garage or
shaded area. Within a couple of days you will notice a couple of
things:
* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that
should tell you something)
* it does not rot or smell differently because it has
no
nutritional value ; nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny
microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? Because it is
nearly plastic .
Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
Chinese Proverb: When
someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it,
you have a moral obligation to share it with others.
Pass the BUTTER PLEASE
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WD-40 uses:
1. Protects silver from tarnishing.
2.
Removes road tar and grime from
cars.
3. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4.. Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them
slippery.
5. Keeps flies off cows . (I love this one!)
6. Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7.
Removes lipstick stains.
8. Loosens stubborn zippers.
9. Untangles jewellery chains.
10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13.
Removes tomato stains from
clothing.
14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots .
15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
18. It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40
for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring.. It doesn't seem to
harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get
them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of
marks.
19.
Bug guts will eat away the finish
on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!
20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a shine for a super fast
slide.
21. Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling
on riding mowers...
22 Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier
to open..
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as
well as vinyl bumpers.
26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles
for easy handling
29. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them
running smoothly.
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31. Removes splattered grease on stove.
32.
Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35.
Removes all traces of duct tape.
36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve
arthritis pain.
37. Florida's favourite use is: 'cleans and removes love bugs from
grills and bumpers.'
38. The favourite use in the state of New York , WD-40 protects the
Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures and
you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot
cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that
purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or
lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
40. Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately
and stops the itch.
41. WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls.. Spray on the
mark and wipe with a clean rag.
42. Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed
and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the
lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash. Presto! The lipstick is gone!
43. If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace
the moisture and allow the car to start.
P.S. The basic ingredient is
FISH Oil
!!!!!
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